THE BLACK SNOWConsequent to the India's current state of affairs with respect to Corruption and Misgovernance, even the 'Snow' has turned Black—the obvious have also lost its credibility.
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BIG BOSS'BIG BOSS' is a scoop about a fervent professional who joins many firms in anticipation of getting a conducive work environment and an ideal 'Boss' in each.

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The Indian Cricket Kamasutra

30th March was the dawn when I woke up at 0415 am by a ‘tweak’ sound, and immediately I knew that some financial institution that never sleeps is offering me some loan or best rate on my deposits. I instantly laid my hands on my cell phone and tried putting it on ‘mute’.30th March was the dawn when I woke up at 0415 am by a ‘tweak’ sound, and immediately I knew that some financial institution that never sleeps is offering me some loan or best rate on my deposits. I instantly laid my hands on my cell phone and tried putting it on ‘mute’. But a half asleep man is not worthy of doing anything and that too in the dark. The New message received key got pressed and the first word I read was Pak: something, something…. I got worried on the first inkling and appreciated the SMS marketing developing into a ‘Hulk’ on the second. Imagine a Salesman at your doorstep with the products, demos and offers. I further went down the message and realized it to be a joke. It read: Pak: Oh! God, please help us as we are playing India in the semi-finals God: I can’t help you as today I will be opening the batting for India I was flabbergasted at reading it as God has never communicated with me, but was responding to our competitor’s requests (though not affirmative). My wife also woke up fearing the worse analogous to receiving the Telegram in 80s. As the Telegram always meant something sour, so are the SMSs at late night or very early in the morning. “What happened?” she was quick to ask. I got into her skin and replied, “Nothing much—See some Indian fans are awake and we are sleeping. It’s not done.” I told her the joke and expected a smile atleast. But she was bit reluctant to catalogue it as a joke. “But why will the God bat for India?” she said adjusting the thin quilt especially bought for the March-end weather. I wasn’t surprised by the ignorance as I knew that wives are not known to know our Gods. “Sachin Tendulkar! duffer,” I almost howled at her. “Oh!” she said. “Then they should have said Sachin, why to use God instead,” she continued with her closed retinas and brain. “Hmm. Leave it dear. It’s not the best time to discuss Cricket, but cricket,” I put the phone on mute and went to the Mohali where Sachin and Sehwag were hitting sixes in Muralitharan’s over. Muralitharan? You might be wondering—but that’s the beauty of dreams. I have married Manisha Koirala and Diya Mirza many times in my dreams, but have woken up in reality with my wife. Good that it was different with Murali. By 0700 am, I had few more messages in the Inbox that only talked about cricket and only cricket. It was then that I realized the real meaning of Big B’s dialogue in Namak Halaal that he spoke impromptu--I can walk English, I can talk English, I can laugh English…--I was fast to replace ‘English’ with ‘Cricket’. It was a hysteria all across India as the professionals have taken a day off to watch ‘Men in Blue’ play ‘Men in Green’. I had a planned half day off and went to my office to clear all the pending scheduled work for the day. As I was unpacking my tools, a message popped up on my handsfree. I was drowned to open it up just to ensure it wasn’t from my boss telling me his leave plans for the day and asking me to be there in the office the entire day to take care of his JD too. The text from one of my friend read: I have 5 free passes to Mohali. Will you like to come along? I went down and realized that text further said, “If anyone messages you the above, do let me know. I will also come.” Boom… I immediately fwd the message to my wife and got a call from her as soon as I exited the message delivery status. “Who gave you the passes? Are you planning to go?” she asked in frenzy as she knew I was the citizen of the same cricket-crazy nation. “Yes. Why not? If we have the passes, why shouldn’t we make the use of it?” I tried pulling her up. “But, how will you reach there? It’s already 10’o clock and it’s crazy out there with fans been allowed to enter since 0600 in the morning today.” I laughed and thought of taking it more further, but broke down and asked her to read down the prank further. She immediately read and disconnected the phone. I could hear only one word from her, ‘You are bad’ and it was then I felt the pain the tele marketing executives have to undergo when someone like me disconnects the phone after getting their calls. I packed up again and left for home at 0130 pm only to find the kid there cracking jokes to my wife. As soon as I reached my room, he immediately got hold of me and requested to listen to one of his jokes. Though I knew the audacity of a 14-year-old telling a joke, but for the sake of watching cricket in peace, I agreed. Afridi to his team: We will not allow Sachin to make a century today Pak team: But why? Afridi: Because we will be out on 95 I was damn confident of not laughing on his jokes and I stuck to that. It didn’t tickle any muscle of my skeleton. The boy knew it and may be it seemed he pledged to make me laugh some day with his jokes. I had lunch, joined Star Cricket and went on to read The TOI. As soon as the first page came live, my sense departed. The TOI had the above two jokes (God and 95 runs one) embedded in the small box under the Headline story. I tried concealing it from the boy to avoid embarrassment as the joke the entire nation is able to understand, hasn’t cut ice with me. I would have sounded duffer. I slipped off the newspaper into the junk carton carrying old published history. The match started with our adrenalin pumping low and high. Facebook was abuzz with predictions about the getting a four, six or a wicket. It was a roller-coaster ride for the Indian players, and fans too as the team scored low than expected inspite of the flyer provided by Sehwag. I felt low as I had a hitch that Pak can meet the total. With a cup of tea in hand, I prayed & chanted shlokas usually forgot during my exam days. Asudden, something vibrated and I picked up something only to find another joke, rather quote that raised my spirits. Dear Pakistan, we have come from the land of KAMASUTRA. We have 277 ways; just wait’n’watch. That was it. At the end of the game while dancing at the dhol, cracking crackers in the lane, I knew Dhoni might have received the same message during the break and then only he showed 2000 ways to the Pak team. As expected, he had to demonstrate it that day—after all he is a MAN now!!!

Comments

nice,refreshing

nice,refreshing thougts--great writing

excellent writing.awating

excellent writing.awating your book.
let me know when it is out

Mubarak ho yaar jeet

Mubarak ho yaar jeet gaye.
tune likh bhi diya.
gud1111111

Extremely fun filled

Extremely fun filled elaboration of pre-cricket match happenings. And ofcourse post match is now a history :) but..........KS did wonders !!!

Like it.. quite refreshing to

Like it.. quite refreshing to read... specially now that we have won the WC..

Cheers

Thanks GS???/ Like the

Thanks GS???/ Like the acronym...